if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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