***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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