State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
