Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just want nice things and good sex
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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