if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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