Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
