Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
