I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize