He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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