His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize