Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
