I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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