I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
