Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
