No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
