I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
