True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
