I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
