just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
