well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
