Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
