do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
