the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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