we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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