So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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