so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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