it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
