Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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