I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize