we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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