So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
