After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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