I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
is that a dick in a sweater?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
