so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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