Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize