two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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