Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
