we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
