what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
