So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize