At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Duck Duck Cougar?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
