I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize