you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
