dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize