do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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