I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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