we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
