You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The Olympian is in my bed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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