I will die if light touches me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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