mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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