So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
