i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize