if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
