Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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