I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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