It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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