Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
