These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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