Your dad touched me again.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
soo... how was my night?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
