At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
