You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize