I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
