Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
