Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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