is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
