Why does Corona taste like a burp?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
