hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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