Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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