Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
